JAY Z VS. SOLANGE: THE WORKING THEORIES

HOLY CANOLI I haven’t been able to focus since yesterday when the video of Solange Knowles (if you’re living under a rock that’s Beyonce’s kid sister) blew up the Internet with her trying to beat the crap out of Jay Z in an elevator after the Met Gala. Here’s what we know:

1. This happened AT the Met Gala in the elevator of The Standard hotel in NYC

2. Beyonce was in the elevator first along with a body guard when Jay Z and Solange breeze through – that’s when things start getting PHYSICAL

3. While Solange is throwing fists and lunging after Jay Z, the body guard had to step in and restrain Solange

4. Emotionally absent from all of this was our dear BEY! She watched the whole thing go down in the corner of the elevator – not moving or doing anything!

This elevator footage was taken a few days ago when the Met Gala occurred. Fast forward to present day where Jay Z and Beyonce were seen watching a basketball game courtside, even after the video was leaked. This was a purely calculated move which makes me want to bow down to QUEEN BEY! They were clearly sending a message to us: UNITED FRONT – nothing is going to tear down Hova and our B! Sidenote: I know this is really selfish of me but when all this stuff was going down, my first thought was: Oh no! I hope this doesn’t jeopardize the JayZ/Beyonce concert I have tickets for in July! ha

Now everyone and their mother is wondering WHAT THE FUNK happened to enrage Solange? Here are my theories:

1. Solange caught Jay Z getting some strange (haha I learned that phrase today from my dear coworker, I literally had no idea what it meant) and that caused Solange to FLIP out in defense of her sister!!! Nobody and I mean NOBODY cheats on her sister!

2. Jay Z catches Solange doing something bad, VERY bad. Maybe he catches her in the midst of a huge coke binge and tries to stop her, thrashing his arms and throwing away all the coke she was in the midst of snorting up her nose.  He heads back to the elevator to his dear wifey and Solange LOSES it because she has a drug problem and NOBODY stands in her way of getting her fix!

3. Jay Z and Beyonce have some sort of physical altercation that Solange witnesses. She does not take kindly to anybody tumbling her sister around and races to catch up to him in the elevator screaming “YOU HIT MY SISTER??!!! I HIT YOU” and then cue all her limbs flying that we see on the footage.

4. Solange is manic and bipolar and has had a long history of tantrums and erratic behaviour.  This is the strongest theory I can glean from the Internet so far, since there seems to be multiple reports of her “blowing up” in the past, including that very night she allegedly screamed at many people including the fashion designer Rachel Roy.  Beyonce, knowing her sister’s long history of erratic tantrums and behaviour stands silently in the elevator because she’s “use” to her sister and feels like she has to disengage from it all.

SO FAR nobody is confirming or commenting on anything, so the Internet world is left to pour threw every morsel of social media to infer any facts. Newest revelation is that apparently Solange deleted all but ONE photo that contained her dear sister in them. The rest are now all MYSTERIOUSLY gone.  CLASSIC passive aggressive move Solange, CLASSIC.

And now we all wait in anticipation until someone officially comes forward with what is going on. In the mean time, my list of “theories” continues to GROW!

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