Bey, Jay & the Beyhive

I am currently in St Lucia with Dan taking our delayed but much deserved honeymoon!

The first day we arrive to our resort, what do I see across all my social media feeds? Beyonce drops her latest album Lemonade! DAMN B, couldn’t you have waited until I came back so I can listen to it properly? But alas, no.

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I haven’t listened to the entire album yet because my wifi game isn’t that strong here  BUT I have read several articles from the Interwebs dissecting the meaning of the album, the whole theme alluding to Beyonce experiencing infidelity in her relationship.

So what does it all mean jellybean? Why are there all these weird names being tossed around in the mix like Rachel Roy, Rachel RAY, Rita Ora, Rihanna and Becky with the good hair?

Lets take a step back for a bit.

Jay Z and Beyonce have been together for a hella long time. She was first rumored to be dating him around 2002.  Fast forward six years later when they get married on Aug 4, 2008 (4/4 significant because B is obsessed with the numero four).  In 2012 they have Blue Ivy.

Through out their entire relationship, there have ALWAYS been faint whispers of infidelity.  But nothing was really significant or remarkable, because lets be honest, when you’re at that level of power, money and fame as Bey and Jay – there will always be a certain level of scrutiny and speculation.

So on and on they continue their world domination, remaining very tight lipped and PR approved about their relationship until we get to May 2014 where there seems to be a crack in the fortress!

Everyone probably remembers this incident because it was all over the media. Essentially during an after party for the 2014 Met Gala, surveillance footage is leaked of an incident in the elevator with Beyonce’s sister Solange physically assaulting Jay Z while Beyonce remains stoic and oddly calm in the corner.

Eventually the incident is broken up by a security guard but not before Solange gets a good few punches and kicks at Jay Z (yeah you did girl!). They all exit the elevator together, Beyonce with a picture perfect smile on her face like nothing to see hear folks, Solange looking pissed and Jay Z looking like… he always does.

All hell breaks loose when this surveillance video is leaked though because everyone around the world is thinking, what the hell did Jay Z do to warrant a physical attack like that from Solange? Why was Beyonce all calm and stoic in the corner?

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They must have the equivalent of an Olivia Pope on their team advising them because this incident blows over fairly quickly by staying silent.  Days, weeks and months pass with no comments explaining the situation from any parties. The only comment that surfaces is actually a non-comment where Beyonce alludes to it casually in a song lyric that says, “Of course sometimes shit goes down when there’s a billion dollars on an elevator!”  

This is when we first hear the name Rachel Roy.  The major hypothesis of why Solange goes bat shit crazy is that Jay Z cheated on Beyonce, and with none other than Rachel Roy.

But wait, who is Rachel Roy?

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She’s a fashion designer and runs tight with celebs like the Kardashians, but most significantly – she is the ex-wife of Damon Dash. Ok now wait – who is Damon Dash?

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Damon Dash and Jay Z have HISTORY. He use to be Jay’s former manager, they co-owned their record label Roc-a-Fella Records AND also co-owned their fashion line Rocawear.

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They were seemingly best buds both professionally and personally. But know what they say about mixing business + friendships – DON’T DO IT. Things soured between them when Def Jam Records bought out Roc-a-Fella Records and appointed Jay Z as president. Then Jay Z buys out Damon Dash’s stake in Rocawear, and bam – friends become enemies (allegedly).

Sidebar: This isn’t related to anything about this story but Damon Dash also use to be engaged to Aliyah before she perished in a the plane crash.

Ok wait now, back to Rachel Roy. She started out as an intern at Rocawear and rose the ranks to creative director of the Women’s and Children’s division and that’s how she ended up meeting her future husband Damon Dash.

They were married for four years and have two daughters together. Things did not end well between them, they ended up divorcing and Rachel gained full custody of her daughters, and also wins a THREE year restraining order against Damon. Uh… things must have been ugly if you need to get a restraining order against your baby daddy.

This is why Rachel Roy is seemingly significant, because she is the ex wife of Jay Z’s former BFF.  So allegedly this is why Solange was so angry at Jay Z which motivated her physical attack on him while her older sis did nothing (because hello, if you’re not guilty why would your spouse allow an attack like that to happen?!)

Fast forward to NOW when Beyonce’s Lemonade drops, and the whole album is rife with references to the love of her life cheating on her.  Uh OH! WATCH OUT!

Enter the swarming of the Beyhive (what her loyal fans call themselves).

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The Beyhive goes BAT SHIT CRAZY for Lemonade, dissecting the lyrics word for word and swarming together in masses on the Internet ready to sting anyone they think might hurt their Queen B!

This is how “Becky with the good hair” enters the picture, because that’s a line from one of her lyrics on the album, alluding to the mistress.

Beyhive goes crazy for this line, especially the below Instagram pic that Rachel Roy posts within 24 hours of Lemonade going public.

“Good hair don’t care, but we will take good lighting, for selfies, or self truths, always. live in the light #nodramaqueens.”

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Beyhive bombards Rachel Roy’s Instagram with a barrage of hateful comments and drives Rachel Roy to make her once public Instagram account private.

But the Beyhive doesn’t stop there, because they also confuse Rachel Roy with Rachael Ray which is hilarious because they couldn’t be any more different – see below.

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Rachael RAY is a chef on The Food Network and probably has never met Beyonce or Jay Z, but nobody is safe from the wrath of the Beyhive because the Food Network star’s Instagram becomes inundated by a pile of bee and lemonade emojis.

Some of their other stings include lines like:

How’s Jay’s lips taste? Like Lemons?

You’re just a lil side piece you’ll never be Beyonce! Shame on you! Home wrecker!

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After the Beyhive realizes they erroneously accused the wrong gal, they set their sights on anyone and everyone they think could be a likely suspect for Becky.

Enter Rita Ora, who to be honest – has never really registered on my radar and I actually have no idea who she is besides I think maybe doing music and having a minor role in 50 Shades of Grey. I know her more so because she dated Rob Kardashian for like a second and then when she stopped seeing him, he goes bat shit crazy and calls her every name under the sun on social media (classy Rob, real classy).  So anyways, Rita Ora posts the below snap recently and causes mass swarming of the hive:

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Yes that’s right folks, a bra with lemons on it AND she’s wearing a J necklace.  This enrages the Beyhive because what coincidence is this that she would post such a pic so soon after Lemonade drops?!

Both Rachel Roy and Rita Ora have been assaulted by so much disparaging remarks on social media that they’ve been forced to both make public statements saying HELLO, WE ARE NOT BECKY so leave us the EFF ALONE (not exactly that but essentially that’s the gist).

Essentially no one is safe from the Beyhive witch hunt and they circle back to an oldie but a goodie, Rihanna, to frame.  She’s always had rumors swirled around her as soon as Jay Z signed her onto his record label because she’s young and hot and it’s an easy story to speculate and sell.

So this takes us to now where everyone is putting a lot of focus and scrutiny on demanding that the real Becky please stand up!

I say no, just no.

This is nonsense.  Why is there this intense blame game on some alleged mistress? Why isn’t the Beyhive swirling around Jay Z and publicly shaming him? Why isn’t he being targeted in such an attrocious way that HE has to be forced to shut down his social media?

That’s total sexism, and I KNOW Queen B would not approve of that.

STING!

Ok so in summary here’s what we’ve got:

  • Jay Z + Beyonce are a big giant power couple for years now (starting in 2002)
  • In an elevator with Jay Z and Beyonce, sister Solange tries to kick the shit out of him (2014)
  • After the elevator incident, Rachel Roy is tossed into the mix and is said to have been the cause of the fight in the elevator because she allegedly had an affair with Jay Z
  • Beyonce drops new album titled Lemonade and all hell break loose as her rabid fans called the Beyhive accuse everyone under the sun of being the mistress, “Becky with the good hair,” including Rachel Roy, erroneously Rachael Ray, Rita Ora and even Rihanna (now)
  • Beyonce’s mom is super proud of her daughter and posts on her Instagram a jar of lemonade and this cryptic message, “It was soo important to her to offer something that would bring about healing and hope to the universe! No matter what you’ve gone thru in life you can always come out on the other side!” (now).  
    • Whether you believe Jay Z did something or not, not going to lie this is a cryptic and I think slightly damning statement to make from Mama Knowles
  • Everyone gets distracted by figuring out who Becky with the good hair is, and nobody pays attention to Jay Z which I think is totally sexist

 

To conclude, we will never know who Becky with the good hair is, but my finger is on the shifty character below:

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Part III: Rob Kardashian + Blac Chyna

Ok so everyone is now all caught up with the key relationships and also the he said she said social media war that has been brewing, the tipping point was Tyga and Kylie getting together.

Now how does Rob Kardashian fit in all of this? Where has he been?

Well for anyone who has ever watched Keeping Up with the Kardashians, you’ll know Rob has always been floating around in the background. He has never been featured prominently but being a star on the show doesn’t seem to be his thing.

Here are some notable things about Rob:

  • He is the ONLY boy in the family. All his siblings – 3 Kardashians + 2 Jenners are girls. His real dad, former OJ defense lawyer Robert Kardashian passed away when he was about 16yrs old. And well, Bruce transitioned so… he legit is the only male in the family!
  • He use to date Adrienne Bailon for years. I knew her when she was in this all girl trio group called 3LW (back when girl and boy bands were a thing) but she’s also done other singing and acting gigs. The Kardashians loved her based on what I saw on KUWTK but alas, their relationship ended because he cheated on her.  This was featured prominently in an ep with Rob trying to win her back hard… but got DENIED!
  • Rob is (or was) especially close to Khloe.  He lived with her when she was married to Lamar, and both him and Lamlam grew quite close, considering each other “brothers.”
  • He doesn’t seem to do much in terms of career. Say what you want, but at least with all the women in the family – they’re hustlers and making monies.  Rob however, doesn’t seem to have that drive or ambition. He tried to start a “luxury” sock line but I don’t think it ever went anywhere.  Lets just say when Scott Disnick seems like he works harder than you (i.e. club appearances), you KNOW something is wrong.
  • Rob hates Kim.  Their contentious relationship is lightly alluded to on KUWTK but lets just say there is no love lost between these two. Rob thinks that Kim is super conceited and selfish (likely true). Kim thinks that Rob is a lazy bag of shizzle. Oh and fat. Kim makes no secret in routinely “motivating” Rob by mercilessly commenting about his weight.
    • In one KUWTK, Kim jokes that Rob’s tattoo he once got of ex Rita Ora that he had covered up with a barbie doll tattoo has now stretched so large because of his 100 lb weight gain that it’s now a cabbage patch doll tattoo.
    • Rob once posted his hatred of big sis Kim by posting the below snap on his insta with the bold caption:

“This is my sister kim, the bitch from Gone Girl”

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In recent seasons of KUWTK, it’s noticeable that Rob withdraws further and further from filming. He routinely skips out on big family vacations, and even chose NOT to attend Kim and Kanye’s wedding.  His depression + weight gain is considered the reasons for his withdrawal.

Essentially for the past ~3 years, he’s pretty much gone into hiding – rarely seen in public and virtually inactive on any of his social media accounts.  Speculation mounts that he even has become agoraphobic!

So where does that leave us? Well enter the beginning of 2016, the public hasn’t seen or heard a peep from Rob and then BAM! A sign.

January 25th, 2016 – Blac Chyna makes THIS below post, an arm wrapped around her. But alas – who’s that tatted up arm? Well based on the very identifiable tattoo, the Internet goes crazy as it’s identified as ROB KARDASHIAN!

“The Beginning” she captions on the insta pic.

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Later that day, Khloe Kardashian makes a cryptic tweet that says, “You can do anything, but NEVER go against your family.”  The Internet speculates it’s in direct response to the “beginning” pic with Rob and Chyna but Khloe quickly does damage control on Twitter, sending a series of tweets denying any shade.

She says she has LOTS of family members and the earlier quote was directed toward a family member who cancelled on being on her show. (umm who ya playing Khloe? we all see through those lies!)

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Later that week, Khloe is at it again with her Godfather quotes, posting the below picture:

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Days later at the very end of Jan, reports come in that Khloe kicks Rob out of her house. What reports? Well, the reliable source of TMZ that is! Say all you want about TMZ but I ask you this – when have they EVER been wrong?

TMZ alleges that Khloe was away travelling for a week and when she finally arrived home, she was confronted with the sight of Rob and Blac Chyna in her kitchen, with liquor and trash strewn about everywhere. Oh hellll nooooo – Rob quickly gets the boot and Khloe believes she’s providing some “tough love.”

Soon after – Feb & March is full of social media and paparazzi snaps of Rob and Blac Chyna flaunting their relationship. People speculate that Blac Chyna is using Rob to get back at the family, with Rob happily being a party to this strike because he already had a lot of resentment brewing against his family – specifically his sisters.

Suddenly the once recluse Rob is seen EVERYWHERE with Blac Chyna. Both publicly and on social media.

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All the Kardashian and Jenner women remain tight lipped about Rob’s sudden public appearance and relationship with Blac Chyna.  Nobody responds to this new budding relationship, especially in light of the connection Blac Chyna has with Tyga, Kylie Jenner’s boyfriend.  Their silence speaks VOLUMES because when have they EVER been silent.

So where does this leave us now?

The Kardashians/Jennifers (minus Rob) all head to Vail, Colorado at the beginning of April for a family vacation.

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Coincidentally or not so coincidentally, as soon as they’re all away, BAM!  The below pic drops:

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BLAC CHYNA + ROB KARDASHIAN ARE ENGAGED!

And this is where we essentially leave off as of now. Rob + Blac Chyna are engaged and the Kardashians + Jenners have remained SILENT about commenting about ANYTHING related to how they feel about the news for the past week.

 

And there we have it – the incestuous web that the Kardashians weave (so far!).

We have DEFINITELY not seen or heard the last of where things stand as I’m sure we’ll eventually get a response from one of the Kardashians or Jenners but to recap where we stand at this exact moment:

  • Rob has essentially been in hiding for the past 3 years, shying away from the public or spotlight
  • BAM! Suddenly we see him EVERYWHERE – and with no other than Blac Chyna, the baby mama to his baby sis’ boyfriend – Tyga
  • Khloe kicks Rob out of her house, and has reportedly not spoken to him at all
  • Rob + Blac Chyna are only together for THREE months before they announce they’re ENGAGED!
  • None of the Kardashians or Jenners respond to the news (it’s been more than a week and counting already)
  • Rob reportedly refers to Blac Chyna by her real name Angela. And she is apparently VERY excited to become Angela Kardashian!
  • If Rob marries Blac Chyna for reals, this could potentially make Tyga both the father AND uncle to his own SON.

 

And with that, I vow never to have to explain this story (so far) to Dan EVER again.

Part II: She’s a baby. She needs to go to bed.

OK now that we understand timing and these key players, here is where things get weird:

All things seem hunky dory until Blac Chyna and Tyga break up at the end of 2014. Very soon after, he suddenly becomes seen frequently with Kylie Jenner and this is when tons of speculation start building.

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Why is this significant? Well at the time she’s SIXTEEN years old, and he was 24 at the time.  People keep seeing them out together and it’s like – hello gross, she’s a CHILD. Essentially rumors swirl that Tyga left Blac Chyna for Kylie.

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Sidebar: Kylie first was introduced to Tyga when she was FOURTEEN at her sister Kendall’s 16th birthday party, where he performed. Like I said – bleh.

This doesn’t sit well with Blac Chyna’s best friend Amber Rose either.   Here’s some quotes from Amber Rose during a radio interview she does in Feb 2015, defending her best friend:

“She’s a BABY. She needs to go to bed. It’s 7 o’clock”

“Tyga should be ashamed of himself. For sure. He has a beautiful woman and a baby and left that for a 16-year-old who just turned 17.”

You can watch the interview below if you’re interested in seeing the whole thing:

This radio interview is significant because soon afterwards, shit goes down!

The interview and Amber Rose’s comments ENRAGE big sister Khloe Kardashian. No one, and I mean NO ONE is allowed to talk about her baby sis that way. This marks the beginning of a war…a war fought valiantly across the borders of TWITTER.

 

In response to Amber Rose’s radio comments, Khloe unleashes a series of tweets below:

“I was a stripper since I was 15 years old,” Amber Rose told Foxx.  Please don’t worry about my sister who has a career & her shit.

Together at only 17. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

Please stop talking about us in interviews mama. None of us talk about you.

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Oooh dammm. You think Amber Rose is going to sit back silently and take those Twitter words of abuse? NOPES! She fires back:

@khloekardashian I’ll be that lil whore to support my family like ur older sister is a whore 2 support hers. We’re even!

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This war continues on and even evolves to Instagram.  I won’t bore you with the details but some of them are pretty funny, including this snap Amber posts… because it’s a pretty accurate observation:

When UR sister in law calls out ur ex for being a stripper.  But ur wife has a sex tape.

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blah blah blah, they take potshots at each other for a bit and then things subside after a few days because…well, it’s a lot of effort to engage in a Twitter war with someone.

All things seem quiet and at peace…

 

Until Kanye enters the mix.  Days after Amber Rose gives an interview for that radio station, Kanye coincidentally does an interview with the same station.

Kanye makes some VERY questionable remarks during this interview, highlights include:

  • Admitting it was “very hard” being a man who’s dated Amber, and had to take “30 showers before he got together with Kim.”
  • Or when they ask his thoughts about Tyga and Kylie (who was 17 at the time) being together, he remarked that he thought Tyga was “smart” for “getting in there early.” Umm…gross.

You can watch the radio interview here:

 

At this point – we enter what I consider one of my most favourite moments of this on-going saga.  *Note: this is also when I decide to myself I like this Amber lady!*

After Amber hears Kanye (her ex who she dated for YEARS) speak about her in such a derogatory way, she was NOT going to take it laying down 😛

Defending herself via her method of choice – Twitter, she posts one of my favourite tweets that’s ever been posted before:

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Ok so for anyone who lives under a rock and isn’t aware, decades ago Kim Kardashian’s claim to fame – besides being Paris Hilton’s BFF, was that she made a sex tape with Ray J (Brandy’s brother).  Anyways, nobody cares about Ray J but it’s kinda funny that he’s somehow brought back to attention in this very very tiny way.

Amber Rose continues her tweets, raging against Kanye.

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The above tweet is particularly intriguing because it sets the stage for some later accusations.

Once again there are a TON of back and forth tweets. Kanye rages against Wiz for allowing Amber to trap him for the next 18 years (because they have a kid). Blah blah blah. Lots of boring back and forth.

 

I’ll wind things down with my second most favourite part of this saga, and it’s Amber Rose mocking Kanye:

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Wait what? THIS is what she wants the world to know about the REAL Kanye? LOL

He responds back:

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Did you hear that guys? Kanye doesn’t like anal play. He’s NOT into that type of stuff because he likes pictures and videos!

All I have to say is SOMEONE DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH 🙂

 

Anyways – so to recap part II:

  • Amber gives a radio interview that talks about Kylie being a giant baby and should go back to bed
  • Khloe Kardashian, leaps to baby sis’ defense and rages a war on Twitter against Amber
  • Kanye then goes on the same radio station and is a big giant creeper, celebrating Tyga’s cleverness for getting in early with Kylie. Oh – and also slams his ex Amber for being a dirty dirty monkey and he had to take tons of showers.
  • Amber Rose and Kanye engage in a war on Twitter
  • Amber drops the mic when she proclaims Kanye likes anal play

Ok that’s all I got for tonight – STAY TUNED FOR PART III

 

Part I: THE SAGA OF THE KARDASHIANS

Ok I’m tired of having to constantly explain to Dan about the incestuous web the Kardashians weave. Anytime he hears anything related to: Kardashians, Tyga, Blac Chyna, Amber Rose, Kanye or Rob Kardashian, he keeps asking me to explain the whole saga again.  I can only imagine this is exactly how he feels when I ask him to explain finances or how dividing fractions work.  In either scenarios, we both get a glazed look over our eyes and go HUH?

So here it is ONE more time. Sit back because it’s a doozy… and very confusing.  Note – this is a rather LONG explanation/story so I’m forced to break it out into different parts.  

 

PART I – KEY PLAYERS

2008: Kanye West + Amber Rose start dating for a couple of years. They end their relationship sometime in 2010.  For those who don’t know, Amber Rose is a “model” known for her impressive *ahem* ass-ets.   After some surface level research, she’s also described as an “urban model” or “video vixen.”  I’ll let you infer what her occupation truly is. 

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Now lets fast forward 1-2 years, because that’s when multiple relationships start happening all at once.

 

2011: Amber Rose + Wiz Khalifa start dating. They end up having a son together. They got married in 2013 but boo, later end up getting divorced a year later. For those who don’t know, Wiz is a rapper.

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Meanwhile around Spring 2012: Kanye West + Kim Kardashian start dating and well… we all know how that goes. They date, they have North West, get married, Kanye starts a bunch of fashion lines (sidebar: does anyone have a yeezy sneakers dealer? I would like a pair!), and then they recently had a baby boy named Saint.  

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Ok so now a third relationship transpires around the same time, this one is important so pay attention: Blac Chyna and Tyga.  She’s also a “model,” and Tyga is also a “rapper.”  They end up having a baby together and a month after he’s born, they end up getting engaged towards the end of 2012.   Unfortunately, they never ended up sealing the deal, breaking up during the summer of 2014.

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Now during this whole time, Kim + Blac Chyna appear to be pretty good friends. They appear in butt selfies together and BC + Tyga appear to be in the same social crew as the Kardashians (they were in Paris with Scott + Kourtney!)

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Also equally important to note: Blac Chyna + Amber Rose are also besties, like super super tight (just like the outfits they wear, zing!)

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So lets recap what we have so far:

  • First – Kanye & Amber happens, but their relationship ends in 2010.

Fast forward a year or two later, and 3 relationships begin to transpire around the same time:

  • Kanye & Kim
  • Amber Rose & Wiz Khalifa
  • Blac Chyna & Tyga

Note: Kim is good friends with Blac Chyna.  Blac Chyna is also besties with Amber Rose.

K so long as you have all the key players sorted in your heads, you’re ready for Part II. STAY TUNED