Bey, Jay & the Beyhive

I am currently in St Lucia with Dan taking our delayed but much deserved honeymoon!

The first day we arrive to our resort, what do I see across all my social media feeds? Beyonce drops her latest album Lemonade! DAMN B, couldn’t you have waited until I came back so I can listen to it properly? But alas, no.

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I haven’t listened to the entire album yet because my wifi game isn’t that strong here  BUT I have read several articles from the Interwebs dissecting the meaning of the album, the whole theme alluding to Beyonce experiencing infidelity in her relationship.

So what does it all mean jellybean? Why are there all these weird names being tossed around in the mix like Rachel Roy, Rachel RAY, Rita Ora, Rihanna and Becky with the good hair?

Lets take a step back for a bit.

Jay Z and Beyonce have been together for a hella long time. She was first rumored to be dating him around 2002.  Fast forward six years later when they get married on Aug 4, 2008 (4/4 significant because B is obsessed with the numero four).  In 2012 they have Blue Ivy.

Through out their entire relationship, there have ALWAYS been faint whispers of infidelity.  But nothing was really significant or remarkable, because lets be honest, when you’re at that level of power, money and fame as Bey and Jay – there will always be a certain level of scrutiny and speculation.

So on and on they continue their world domination, remaining very tight lipped and PR approved about their relationship until we get to May 2014 where there seems to be a crack in the fortress!

Everyone probably remembers this incident because it was all over the media. Essentially during an after party for the 2014 Met Gala, surveillance footage is leaked of an incident in the elevator with Beyonce’s sister Solange physically assaulting Jay Z while Beyonce remains stoic and oddly calm in the corner.

Eventually the incident is broken up by a security guard but not before Solange gets a good few punches and kicks at Jay Z (yeah you did girl!). They all exit the elevator together, Beyonce with a picture perfect smile on her face like nothing to see hear folks, Solange looking pissed and Jay Z looking like… he always does.

All hell breaks loose when this surveillance video is leaked though because everyone around the world is thinking, what the hell did Jay Z do to warrant a physical attack like that from Solange? Why was Beyonce all calm and stoic in the corner?

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They must have the equivalent of an Olivia Pope on their team advising them because this incident blows over fairly quickly by staying silent.  Days, weeks and months pass with no comments explaining the situation from any parties. The only comment that surfaces is actually a non-comment where Beyonce alludes to it casually in a song lyric that says, “Of course sometimes shit goes down when there’s a billion dollars on an elevator!”  

This is when we first hear the name Rachel Roy.  The major hypothesis of why Solange goes bat shit crazy is that Jay Z cheated on Beyonce, and with none other than Rachel Roy.

But wait, who is Rachel Roy?

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She’s a fashion designer and runs tight with celebs like the Kardashians, but most significantly – she is the ex-wife of Damon Dash. Ok now wait – who is Damon Dash?

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Damon Dash and Jay Z have HISTORY. He use to be Jay’s former manager, they co-owned their record label Roc-a-Fella Records AND also co-owned their fashion line Rocawear.

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They were seemingly best buds both professionally and personally. But know what they say about mixing business + friendships – DON’T DO IT. Things soured between them when Def Jam Records bought out Roc-a-Fella Records and appointed Jay Z as president. Then Jay Z buys out Damon Dash’s stake in Rocawear, and bam – friends become enemies (allegedly).

Sidebar: This isn’t related to anything about this story but Damon Dash also use to be engaged to Aliyah before she perished in a the plane crash.

Ok wait now, back to Rachel Roy. She started out as an intern at Rocawear and rose the ranks to creative director of the Women’s and Children’s division and that’s how she ended up meeting her future husband Damon Dash.

They were married for four years and have two daughters together. Things did not end well between them, they ended up divorcing and Rachel gained full custody of her daughters, and also wins a THREE year restraining order against Damon. Uh… things must have been ugly if you need to get a restraining order against your baby daddy.

This is why Rachel Roy is seemingly significant, because she is the ex wife of Jay Z’s former BFF.  So allegedly this is why Solange was so angry at Jay Z which motivated her physical attack on him while her older sis did nothing (because hello, if you’re not guilty why would your spouse allow an attack like that to happen?!)

Fast forward to NOW when Beyonce’s Lemonade drops, and the whole album is rife with references to the love of her life cheating on her.  Uh OH! WATCH OUT!

Enter the swarming of the Beyhive (what her loyal fans call themselves).

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The Beyhive goes BAT SHIT CRAZY for Lemonade, dissecting the lyrics word for word and swarming together in masses on the Internet ready to sting anyone they think might hurt their Queen B!

This is how “Becky with the good hair” enters the picture, because that’s a line from one of her lyrics on the album, alluding to the mistress.

Beyhive goes crazy for this line, especially the below Instagram pic that Rachel Roy posts within 24 hours of Lemonade going public.

“Good hair don’t care, but we will take good lighting, for selfies, or self truths, always. live in the light #nodramaqueens.”

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Beyhive bombards Rachel Roy’s Instagram with a barrage of hateful comments and drives Rachel Roy to make her once public Instagram account private.

But the Beyhive doesn’t stop there, because they also confuse Rachel Roy with Rachael Ray which is hilarious because they couldn’t be any more different – see below.

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Rachael RAY is a chef on The Food Network and probably has never met Beyonce or Jay Z, but nobody is safe from the wrath of the Beyhive because the Food Network star’s Instagram becomes inundated by a pile of bee and lemonade emojis.

Some of their other stings include lines like:

How’s Jay’s lips taste? Like Lemons?

You’re just a lil side piece you’ll never be Beyonce! Shame on you! Home wrecker!

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After the Beyhive realizes they erroneously accused the wrong gal, they set their sights on anyone and everyone they think could be a likely suspect for Becky.

Enter Rita Ora, who to be honest – has never really registered on my radar and I actually have no idea who she is besides I think maybe doing music and having a minor role in 50 Shades of Grey. I know her more so because she dated Rob Kardashian for like a second and then when she stopped seeing him, he goes bat shit crazy and calls her every name under the sun on social media (classy Rob, real classy).  So anyways, Rita Ora posts the below snap recently and causes mass swarming of the hive:

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Yes that’s right folks, a bra with lemons on it AND she’s wearing a J necklace.  This enrages the Beyhive because what coincidence is this that she would post such a pic so soon after Lemonade drops?!

Both Rachel Roy and Rita Ora have been assaulted by so much disparaging remarks on social media that they’ve been forced to both make public statements saying HELLO, WE ARE NOT BECKY so leave us the EFF ALONE (not exactly that but essentially that’s the gist).

Essentially no one is safe from the Beyhive witch hunt and they circle back to an oldie but a goodie, Rihanna, to frame.  She’s always had rumors swirled around her as soon as Jay Z signed her onto his record label because she’s young and hot and it’s an easy story to speculate and sell.

So this takes us to now where everyone is putting a lot of focus and scrutiny on demanding that the real Becky please stand up!

I say no, just no.

This is nonsense.  Why is there this intense blame game on some alleged mistress? Why isn’t the Beyhive swirling around Jay Z and publicly shaming him? Why isn’t he being targeted in such an attrocious way that HE has to be forced to shut down his social media?

That’s total sexism, and I KNOW Queen B would not approve of that.

STING!

Ok so in summary here’s what we’ve got:

  • Jay Z + Beyonce are a big giant power couple for years now (starting in 2002)
  • In an elevator with Jay Z and Beyonce, sister Solange tries to kick the shit out of him (2014)
  • After the elevator incident, Rachel Roy is tossed into the mix and is said to have been the cause of the fight in the elevator because she allegedly had an affair with Jay Z
  • Beyonce drops new album titled Lemonade and all hell break loose as her rabid fans called the Beyhive accuse everyone under the sun of being the mistress, “Becky with the good hair,” including Rachel Roy, erroneously Rachael Ray, Rita Ora and even Rihanna (now)
  • Beyonce’s mom is super proud of her daughter and posts on her Instagram a jar of lemonade and this cryptic message, “It was soo important to her to offer something that would bring about healing and hope to the universe! No matter what you’ve gone thru in life you can always come out on the other side!” (now).  
    • Whether you believe Jay Z did something or not, not going to lie this is a cryptic and I think slightly damning statement to make from Mama Knowles
  • Everyone gets distracted by figuring out who Becky with the good hair is, and nobody pays attention to Jay Z which I think is totally sexist

 

To conclude, we will never know who Becky with the good hair is, but my finger is on the shifty character below:

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