Thoughts On The New Bachelor

Is anyone else as disappointed by the recent announcement of the new Bachelor as I am?

It’s none other than Arie Luyendyk Jr!

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Wait who? Great question, because exactly – who IS he, because I BARELY could remember who he was.

I had to DIG DEEP to remember who he was because it was THAT long ago. Here’s a recap:

  • He was on Emily Maynard’s season…in 2012! That’s why I could barely remember him! In reality TV life that’s practically a decade ago.  Anyways,  he made it to final 2 but she ended up picking Jef Holm (who he ended up becoming besties with).
  • He is/was a professional race car driver. He also dabbles in real estate as his “winter career” (his words, not mine).
  • He is Dutch and bilingual.
  • He was actually close to becoming the Bachelor 2 years ago. They filmed him in his home town announcing the news to his family apparently but last min, they pulled the plug and gave it to farmboy Chris Soules (who I think ended up accidentally running someone over in a hit & run so… I think ABC should have gone with their original choice maybe).
  • He had a fling with notable Bachelor alum Courtney Robertson. She was the model that Ben Flanjik ended up picking and then their relationship blew up in flames because she’s a total biznatch. She ended up writing a tell all book and even detailed her fling with him, describing their boning session as the best she’s ever had. “Why was it so good you ask? Arie’s incredibly passionate and utilizes his entire body in his lovemaking. And he knows exactly what positions make a woman feel comfortable and satisfied.”

BTW: I don’t trust anyone who uses the term “lovemaking” but that’s just me.

Ok so they picked this random dude that I could barely recollect to be the new Bachelor, and then I do some reality stalking/research and come to find that Arie is a total fuccboi. 

Wait what’s a fuccboi? Great question. This is a recent term I learned from someone at work who I ask all my urban/street slang questions to (there’s one in every office who seems to always be with it).

FUCCBOI – Here’s what we have:

  • It’s first pronounced “f*ck boy” – or if you’re like me, you think it’s actually got a French flair to it and try to pronounce it like “fuque boise” and then get laughed at by a table full of people.
  • The most basic definition is: A manipulating dick who does whatever it takes to benefit him, regardless of who he screws over. They will screw over anyone and everyone as long they get what they want.”
  • There’s a wonderful comprehensive guide you can find here that goes into great detail about all the different types of fuccbois out there. Lets just say I’ve definitely come across my fair share and didn’t realize there was a term for it.

 

So this brings us back to Arie and the mounting evidence he may be a fuccboi:

  1. Reality Steve hates him. If you don’t know Reality Steve, then know this: he knows everything there is about the bachelor franchise and his spoilers are always accurate. He HATES Arie:

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He even posted this excerpt from Courtney’s book where she talks about how he was dating her and another woman at the same time:

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2. Ok so far we have Reality Steve and Courtney his former lover saying he’s a total douche. But what about his best friend Jef Holm? Or possibly EX best friend – because check out what he’s written on Twitter about him:

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3. He had a girlfriend DAYS before being announced as the new Bachelor, at least this is what ET Online tells me. HUH WHAT?! That has FUCCBOI written all over it if you ask me!

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Anyways, as you can tell I’m super disappointed in who they selected to be the new Bachelor…but obviously that won’t stop me from watching the season. But I will end this post with who I WISH they had selected instead. Le sigh.

ABC's "Good Morning America" - 2017

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