Jamie Foxx + Katie Holmes (and crazy Tom)

Ok guys – I’ve stayed dormant way too long being wrapped up in adulting (btw it’s effing exhausting) so now it’s time to get back to business.

Earlier today I had 2 people randomly tell me how much they miss reading my updates (thanks Courtney + Mariana!) so it really lit the fire in me to start writing again. I spent an hour this afternoon writing a blog post about tips for surviving motherhood and how I’ve quasi reclaimed my life back. Essentially I was framing it as a letter to myself – things I wish I had known 6 months ago that have made the world of difference to me. I had this about 75% written and then my friend Zaza randomly texted me and asked me whether Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx were dating and then I instantly thought of the emoji of the girl slapping her hand to her forehead and thought OH boy, this is actually way more important – so let me educate for those not in the know.

Yes – Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes are dating. They’ve been dating secretly but not so secretly for THE PAST FOUR YEARS. They are essentially considered Hollywood’s worst kept secret.

What the what the – if you didn’t know they were dating and this is completely shocking information to you, then you might be wondering WHY ALL THE SECRECY?

Three words: CRAZY TOM CRUISE

Tom-Cruise-500x333.jpg

Once upon a time, Tom Cruise was considered Hollywood’s prince charming. The man could do no wrong. The public thought he was some perfect golden boy – hell Oprah thought he was this amazing, great looking, humble pie A lister.

But of course – nobody works THAT hard to portray perfection without hiding something super sinister underneath, and that’s when we started to see the thread that is the Tom Cruise PR machine unravelling.

First – Tom Cruise fired his LONG TIME publicist, one he’s had for FOURTEEN years. Read more about it here in this Vanity Fair article including some interesting tidbits about the man, like how he attended her daughter’s wedding and then bought EVERYTHING on the registry list for her (that’s actually pretty damn cool).

Anyways, he fired her (even though his career skyrocketed under their partnership) and then hired his sister to do his PR… his sister who is a devout Scientologist. Soon after – everything crumbled. That’s when we got the Tom Cruise who seemed crazy in love with Katie Holmes and went on Oprah to jump on a couch.  He was everywhere being super obnoxiously in love that it made people uncomfortable.

That’s also the era when his seemingly perfect public persona started cracking and it was revealed how crazy of a Scientologist he is, essentially the best friend of the sadistic leader David Miscavige.  Apparently according to Leah Remini, Tom Cruise is like the second most high ranking person in the Scientology organization because of how close he is to the leader. Ya know what that means? It means he’s BAT SHIT CRAZY and no amount of PR magic was going to be able to cover that up forever.

Why do you think that Katie Holmes had to divorce him so stealthily? She legit was a ninja and was planning her divorce from TC for MONTHS, with the help of her father (a lawyer) and using BURNER PHONES because everything else she had was tracked and monitored by him and his Scientology cronies.

She clearly had SO MUCH dirt on him that he settled the divorce within DAYS and allowed her to have full custody of Suri. BUT and this is a big BUT, how did she convince him to settle the divorce so quickly and allow her full custody of their daughter? Well – she pretty much had to sell her soul to him… for five years.

APPARENTLY one of the stipulations he enforced was that she couldn’t talk about him AT ALL in any public setting and that she also wasn’t allowed to publicly date ANYONE for five years post their official divorce, in fear of tarnishing his reputation.

Yes that’s right folks, Katie Holmes couldn’t publicly date anyone because Tom Cruise was afraid of how it would make HIS brand look.  Let me just interject here by saying sir: no matter WHO Katie Holmes dates, nobody and nothing could make you look sane. YOU CRAY. You VERY VERY VERY cray.

Anyways, I digress.

Back to Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes. Rumor has it they started seeing each other at least a year after Katie Holmes officially divorced Tom Cruise, and have been seeing each other on and off for years but more seriously in the recent years… leading up to the 5 year anniversary mark where they could LEGIT GO PUBLIC.

Now we start seeing random articles pop up here and there with photos of them together, like this one here of them strolling on the beach together holding hands.

So in summary – instead of writing this long and well thought out post I had almost finished about tips I’ve learned that helped me survive being a mother for the past 7 months, instead I just spent the last 30 minutes rapidly typing about how crazy Tom Cruise is and how Katie Holmes can finally be free to proclaim her love for Jamie Foxx.

But seriously – Tom Cruise scares the shit out of me. He has this almost convincing boy next door smile but I just feel like when I look into his eyes, I see that he’s probably orchestrated a few (or several) murders without blinking an eye. But also – how many more Mission Impossible films can you do? It’s over. Nobody wants to watch any more Mission Impossibles.

tom-cruise-evil

Ok THATS ALL.

More importantly though, should I go back to finishing that article I wrote about tips on how I survived keeping a human alive for the past 7 months? Or blow it off and write more nonsense. Please let me know.

 

 

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ADULTING DOESN’T FEEL GOOD (IT FEELS BROKE)

When it rains, it pours. This is one of those cheesy sayings that you might hear a lot, but there is definitely a reason why it’s overused… because it’s TRUE!

To say this month has been beyond frustrating for me is an understatement. Is this what being an adult is all about? Because if it is – PASS!

ONE: Leak in our cold room. This is super super frustrating because if anyone who has a basement knows, a LEAK could potentially mean FLOOD so you really have to nip any leaks in the bud immediately. When we discovered our cold room was leaking water we thought OH SHIT, we need to act fast.

Fast forward to calling several places to get quotes, only to find out a lot of people are currently having flooding or basement leaking issues at the moment — so nobody could see us immediately to assess the situation.

After having 3 companies come by, we finally narrowed it down and they were scheduled to come waterproof the exterior of our house where they suspected the source of the leak was coming from.

This is when things got more depressing, because the situation was more serious than we originally thought.  Without getting into gory home ownership details, turns out we would need to add a sump pump to the front of our house in addition to the exterior water proofing we were doing which meant… things would cost TWICE as much as what we originally planned. BOOOOOO

This meant that all last week – Kensi and I were subjected to being trapped inside the house listening to drilling and hammering as they did exterior and interior work to fix the leak.

I will give it to Kensi – she was still able to take her daytime naps despite all the ruckus and didn’t let any of the outrageous noise get to her (unlike her mom haha).

 

TWO: OUR FRIDGE 

OMG if anyone follows me on facebook, you’ll know I’ve been dealing with fridge drama for the past week and a half.

At first our fridge seemed like it was super hot (burning hot), so we had a repairman come in to put a new fan in.

Then a few days later the fridge side stops being cold. Freezer side is fine, fridge side is barely below room temperature. Le sigh

Repairman comes again – can’t figure out what the issue is because all other parts seem fine so he says it’s probably ice blockage that’s not visible causing issues with the air flow from freezer to fridge. So he said defrost the entire fridge and that should take care of the issue.

NOPE! We moved all our food out of our fridge and stored it at our neighbour’s for two days so the fridge could defrost but that did not solve the issue. Fridge side still does not cool!

Repairman comes BACK again and thinks he fixes it. By this time, I had already called several appliance stores, done a bunch of research on fridges, and decided which one we would need to get if we couldn’t fix our fridge.

This whole time I’m going through this fridge drama, I felt like I was saying goodbye to a friend who was slowly dying. At first the doctor kept coming and suggesting this drug and this medication and every time he came, we would be hopeful my dear fridge friend could recover. But then finally by the last time the repairman came I made up my mind – this is the last time and we’re just delaying the inevitable. It’s time to pull the plug!

Sidenote: thank you to everyone who messaged me to check in and send their concerns and condolences. Your love and support during this difficult time has been tremendously uplifting and truly gives me the strength to continue.

So alas – today I went back to the appliance store and put down a deposit on a new fridge.

For anyone who has never had to buy a fridge, here’s a newsflash: FRIDGES ARE EXPENSIVE (adult lesson I hope no one has to personally experience).

And of COURSE the fridge we require is not a normal sized fridge. This is our existing fridge below (the person we bought the house from must have been a giant). I don’t even want to discuss how much replacing it costs, but lets just say that I will not be buying my dream car this year (i.e. a used Honda Civic).

 

THREE: WORK RECONCILLIATION

The cherry on top of my cake is that I find out that work was erroneously paying me for almost 2.5 months (because when you’re on mat leave you’re not paying close attention to this) and so… I have to give back a TON of $$$$$. Like a TON! (Like TWO FRIDGES worth…is this what my life has come to now? Measuring things based on fridges?!)

Now I know what people are going to say: Hello, didn’t you notice that you were being paid when you weren’t supposed to?

The answer? No! I didn’t! Because I wasn’t watching and monitoring my bank account like a hawk every second of the day. And I also didn’t have the time and energy to flag to work and be like “hey, checking in – wanted to make sure you STOPPED paying me,” because hello – I assumed they would just KNOW since I made sure to file everything properly in the system before I left!

Anyways, they were super apologetic and even said they would devise a payback plan that would make whatever sense it needed for me since it was such a chunk of cheddar but I said no, ✋🏽 I don’t want your blood money.

Please take this money away because it’s clearly cursed.
So suffice it to say – August has been ROUGH.

BUT and this is a very giant BUTTTTT, even though there’s been a ton of frustrating things that have happened, there are a lot of things I have to still be grateful for.

It’s really easy for me to be rattled and fixate on the negative, so I’m trying really hard to remind myself everyday about all the positive things that have happened as well so that I can retrain my mind to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

And once I started doing this, I realized it’s definitely getting easier and easier to construct a full list of happy things that have also happened this month as well:

Kensi is happy and healthy. No matter what happens with this house, as long as Kensi is happy and healthy then I have to count my blessings. 


I found a baseball cap that looks decent on me 🙂 HUGE. HUGE. Literally the only baseball cap I’ve ever found in 32 years that looks decent on my head.

Frankly has figured out that when Kensi goes down for naps and for the night, she can have 100% of my snuggle attention.  I have figured out that one of the best ways to destress is to pet Frankly in a mindful focused way.

I might get some money back from the city for the sump pump! The person we bought the house from never applied for the subsidy which means we can. So here’s the pic of Kensi and I walking to drop the subsidy form in the mail 🙂

Also: even though this fridge situation is super shitty it could still be worst. The freezer side still works which is the most important thing for us because it’s housing all the frozen breast milk I’m banking! As long as the freezer continues to be OK, I think we can manage for a few weeks until the new fridge comes.

My morning walks with my squad. Every morning after Kensi eats and my mom and I have breakfast, we bundle everyone up and take Frankly for a walk to the park and back. It feels amazing to just walk and enjoy the breeze without having to feel rushed to get somewhere.


Going out for dinner with friends like actual humans. Since K has been going to bed consistently by 7 these days for the night, Dan and I have been able to make plans to go out for dinner!

Here we are trying out Barque for the first time… so much meat! This one is called the “meet meats platter” and it did not disappoint! SO MUCH MEATZ!

Last night Dan was out for dinner late downtown. When I found out where he was I said please swing by Momofuku to get me some ramen! So please see below for my 11pm snack last night 😃


In conclusion, adulting is hard (and expensive) but it can also be happy and delicious.

But seriously, August you’re drunk – please go home.  I need Sept and Fall to get here faster because that has historically always been my season to shine.

✌🏼

The Great Underpants Debate

Yesterday I was going through my underpants inventory and realized I was running low.

Pre-baby life, I was always replenishing my underwear supply but obviously since baby K entered my life – shopping for the essentials like new underpants clearly rang very low on my priority list.

So yesterday after putting K to bed at 7, I proposed to Dan that we go to the mall so that I could FINALLY get some new underpants.

Here is how my life has changed since becoming a mom:

BEFORE the baby came, I would have marched into Victoria Secret and snatched up their seamless ones (that are typically on sale for 7 for $35!)

Imagine my surprise when I walked into the store yesterday and it was 5 for $35. HOLD UP! Instead of $5 for a pair they’re now charging me $7? Nope. I’m a MOM, I need to be more frugal.

AFTER the baby:  I marched my way over to Aerie/American Eagle – which had a 10 for $35 deal. THAT’S BETTER! I have no shame, I’m a MOM now, I need to find the best price per undergarment deal. So I rummaged through their pile to pick out 10, and then headed over to the cash desk.

That’s when I felt only SLIGHTLY bad for the 40 something year old man who was the only person at the cash register, who had to gingerly pick up and scan each pair of underpants one by one.  You would think I would have felt super embarrassed… but nope, I have no shame! I needed my discount undies. And what did he expect would happen when he was going to work at a store like Aerie/AE frequented by teenagers…or grown ups desperately clinging to their youth.

Afterwards I reunited with Dan who was waiting outside doing work emails. He asked if I finally got the underpants I needed.  I said YUP! And then I said, “GUESS HOW MUCH I SPENT ON THEM.”

But before he could even say anything I blurted out “$35!… FOR 10 PAIRS!”

That’s when he stopped walking.

Rewind: a week ago I replenished HIS underpants supply and bought him a 3 pack of CK ones for $25. When I gave them to him I complained that I thought the sale was phony because they still seemed expensive to me. He was confused because he thought they were a great price.

Fast forward to the mall again: he stopped walking and looked at me. “You bought TEN pairs of underpants… for $35?! That’s… ABSURD.”

“SEE,” I said, “That’s why I think YOURS are so expensive, these are the price per unit that I’m use to!”

So now there is a debate within our household on what is a reasonable price for underpants. Like if I think about men’s underpants, would they constitute the equivalent material of 2 or 3 pairs of mine? And if yes, then would that mean whatever price I pay for mine I should expect to double or triple for his? And if that’s the case, then would 3 for $25 actually be the same as my 10 for $35?

Le sigh.

These are the things that I think about now that I’m on mat leave and I have an abundance of time to fixate on life’s trivial matters 😂

Mama Hungisms


Ever since we bought the house in Mimico, my mother moved in with us during the week to help out. She usually comes for Sun aft and then leaves Fri aft so that Dan and I have the weekend to ourselves with baby K.

Today’s post is dedicated to all the weird and funny things my mom does – otherwise known around our house as Mama Hungisms.  This is my life – when not dealing with Kensi or Frankly, I’m trying to figure out what is going on with my mom!

 

1. Dan vs Den

Mama Hung speaks with an accent – duh because she’s an immigrant.  This makes for some hilarity when it comes to pronunciation of words and also understanding what certain words mean. Her recent confusion: Dan vs Den

This started last year when she gave a Christmas card to Dan, but she wrote “Den” on it. To be fair – when she hears us pronounce the two words she probably can’t tell much of a difference. Hence she thought his name was spelled “Den.”  I obviously corrected her that it’s spelled “DAN.”

Fast forward to last week when she JUST learned how to text, and she texted Dan and said “Den, how did Kensi sleep last night?”

When Dan laughed and showed me the text I thought, le sigh – I need to remind her again how to spell and pronounce his name.

The next morning I tell mom, “Mom! Dan’s name is spelled with an A. Not an E” Please insert look of confusion from Mama Hung. She couldn’t hear what the difference was. I clarified: DAN is a person. DEN is like a small room, like an office or maybe a small living room. I was met with silence.

The next next morning: My mom confronts Dan before he leaves for work to ask him to clarify again what the difference is between Dan vs Den. He tried to explain.

AFTER he leaves – she confronts ME to clarify. Once again I explain: Dan with an A is his name. Den with an E is like a room.

Fast forward to 3 days later when it’s thundering like crazy outside and Frankly is freaking out so she goes and hides in her tent. I could’t figure out where she was at first so when I asked my mom, she said “Frankly is hiding in her DEN!”… *proud smile*

Haha YOU GOT IT MOM!

2. Leeks

Up until a month ago – it’s as if my mom has never cooked with leeks before.  She’s always hovering over me in the kitchen like, ‘ooh what’s that? ok now what are you doing? oh ok are you chopping it like that? hmm.’

I was making a stir fry one day and I was chopping up some leeks and she was confronted with the smell of sauteed leeks with butter and was floored. The scent was overwhelming.

Now she can’t get ENOUGH of leeks and she pretty much cooks with it EVERY SINGLE DAY. It’s like leek THIS and leek THAT and oh I just added LEEKS to it, doesn’t it taste and smell wonderful!

I asked her, “Mom, did you JUST discover leeks? Because ever since I showed you – you can’t stop buying it and you put it in EVERYTHING.” Her response? Stone cold silence because she was strategically playing with the baby and ignoring me.

3. White babies and their “prominent” noses

I’ve had a bunch of people come visit with their babies, and there is NOTHING that Mama Hung loves more than BABIES! The one thing she will ALWAYS without a doubt comment on is babies and their noses.

Why? Well because most of the time Asians don’t have prominent noses (i.e. high nose bridges). Our noses are usually flat and so she’s always trying to prevent me from having Kensi do tummy time too long because if Kensi gets tired she falls flat on her face, and this poses a risk to flattening Kensi’s nose (even more!). She’s always yelling, “Don’t do that! her nose will get flatter!”

So if there’s a baby that comes through our door, especially a WHITE baby, she cannot help herself and exclaim, “Look at that nose!!! Look Kensi, look at this baby’s nose! Why is your nose so flat? This baby has such a prominent nose!”


4. CON-GRAT-U-LA-TIONS!!!

If you have a baby – then you’ll know that your life is pretty much consumed by tracking their bowel movements. It’s always like, “Did she poop yet? Oh no she hasn’t pooped? Why is she pooping so much today? poop, poop, poop!”

For the record for those who don’t have kids – babies poop really irregularly. It’s apparently super common for babies to go days/week without a poop! I was warned of this upfront by my midwives – not to be alarmed if Kensi doesn’t poop for 4-5 days. Apparently it’s normal and it’s just babies working out their digestion.

That’s why EVERY day my mom will ask me after I change Kensi’s diaper, “Did she poop?” and then she’ll get a sad face if I tell her “Nope, just pee!”

But when I DO tell her Kensi pooped – her whole face lights up and she’ll rush over to Kensi and proclaim, “CON-GRAT-U-LAT-IONS!!!!”

AND now I can’t help myself – anytime Kensi poops I’ll also say really slowly and emphatically, “CON-GRAT-U-LAT-IONS!!!!”

I’ll also say this to Dan too haha.

5. Halloween Candy

Dan and I moved into our house last October, and we were confronted with something we had never experienced before: the need to buy Halloween candy!

Everyone told us that our street typically gets HUNDREDS of kids and so we needed to be prepared. Hence weeks before we bought several boxes of candy and chocolate bars from Costco expecting to get 200-300 kids!

I think we barely hit 150 kids and so we were left with a TON of chocolate bars left over. I was originally planning to take it to work but I totally forgot, so when I went on mat leave I was left with a box full of tiny chocolate bars in our cold room.

I totally forgot all about it because I rarely go into the cold room until one day Dan comes up to me and says, “Hey, did you know that your mom has been sneaking into the cold room and eating a piece of chocolate in secret everyday?”

I asked him how he knew this, and he said because 1) He was doing the same and 2) He ran into her doing it at the same time he was going to get one.

My only ask for the both of them was DON’T TOUCH THE BUENOS! Those are only when you REALLY need or deserve it, and not just for on the daily sugar fixes.

6. Peeling/cutting fruit

Lastly, one of the hallmark skills that Mama Hung is known for is her superior fruit peeling/cutting skills. ALL MY LIFE she’s been trying to force me to eat fruit. Growing up after every meal, she would cut fruit and force my brother and I to eat it.

When I had friends come over, she would peel and cut a whole plate of fruit and present it in front of us. I would ALWAYS make whoever was visiting to eat the whole plate of fruit and then lie when my mom asked us if we BOTH ate the fruit to say we both participated 🙂

Pretty much nothing has changed as a 30 something year old grown up. My mom still is peeling and cutting fruit and trying to make me eat it every chance she gets – and now with Dan as well. And then if I have any friends come over – no doubt she’s trying to push fruit onto them as well.

This fruit pushing tendency she has is precisely why Dan and I have no idea how to cut fruit really well – as she’s pretty much been doing it for us for the past… ohhh 8 years (and for me my WHOLE LIFE).

But for serious – if anyone wants to come eat fruit at my house, all I ask is that when confronted about who was eating the fruit, you better tell her that I was actively eating fruit as well!

My recent guilty pleasure (one of many)

In today’s episode of Mat leave life in Mimico, I have decided to share a secret that I’m terribly embarrassed of.

File this under: Things that I’m fascinated and annoyed by ALL AT THE SAME TIME

Lately in the past month, I can’t get enough of Susur Lee’s sons.

susur lee

Huh what? Yes that’s right. It’s a very odd contradictory fascination that I can’t get enough of.  I’m fascinated and can’t stop absorbing every little detail they share about themselves, but at the same time I’m also disgusted by myself because they seem to stand for so many things I’m against: nepotism, arrogance, entitlement, an over the top gratuitous lifestyle, etc.  Every time Dan catches me watching their YT videos, he always groans “THEY’RE SO DOUCHEY!!!”

AND YET I CAN’T STOP WATCHING THEIR YOUTUBE VIDEOS! IT’S A SICKNESS. 

First: Who is Susur Lee? He’s a famous Toronto chef that’s opened up a bunch of notable restaurants around the city. He’s also media famous and has appeared on Top Chef Canada and a bunch of other Food Network TV shows. Anyways, if you’ve ever lived in Toronto and ever experienced his Singapore Slaw, you know the impact he’s had on the city 🙂

We even met him once when we were dining at Bent and he was coming around the tables saying hi to peeps and asking if they liked dinner (we did!).  I noticed Susur because I thought a) he’s pretty good looking for an old guy and b) where did he get his super nice sweater from? It’s definitely cashmere. I wonder if it would be weird if I asked if I could touch his sweater…

Anyways his sons rose to quasi Toronto fame because they

1) Opened up Frings with their good friend Drake

2) Are pretty good looking but in an entitled douchey kinda way

3) Lead a pretty ridiculously privileged life (i.e. designer goods, luxury cars, baller homes, etc)

Fringe Restaurant opening held on sept 21 in Toronto - Photos George Pimentel

Both of them have their own YouTube channel and lately I can’t stop watching the videos they post – which are oddly compelling considering they’re about NOTHING.

I invite you to join me in this terrible guilty pleasure:

First off – we have the middle son Kai Bent Lee, YT channel found here.  

I haven’t seen all of his videos because almost all of them are about designer shopping, shoes and cars, but here are some notable ones I’ve enjoyed:

Homeboy has a BALLER condo in Yorkville (which apparently he’s selling). Check out the video here where he does a home tour. It’s HUGE! There’s a private elevator that takes you straight to the unit. Apparently it’s currently being listed for $5MM+ and is part of the same ultra exclusive condo that… wait for it… Mark Wahlberg owns a penthouse to. Marky Mark!

This condo is CRAZY nice. If I had an extra $5MM laying around, I would totally consider buying it.

36A

kaws

Day In The Life video which is honestly about NOTHING and yet I watched the whole entire thing (and hate myself for it). Things gleaned from this video include:

  • Major laser sneaker head; dislikes Yeezys IMMENSELY
  •  Has a hot doctor friend who looks just as douchey as he does BUT seems a bit more normal
  • Drives a super nice car

Thrift shopping video – this one is oddly compelling because homeboy has SO many videos about high end shopping and what his closet is full of, and yet this one is about him slumming it on Queen West to find some used threads.  Also his youngest bro Jet is featured in this video, and I can’t stop thinking that this kid has a future in male modeling if he wanted to. He’s tall, lanky and has an angular androgynous look that looks editorial don’t you think? Below is a younger pic of him with their mom who comprises the “Bent” of their last name, and is also the person who is responsible for the interior design of most of their restaurants!

Also the pic serves to remind me that Asian genes are STRONG because even though they’re mixed kids, these Bent Lee boys look hella pure Asian.

jetty

I also dig the Thrift Shop video because it features Kensington Market – he goes to the same shop to get a beef patty that I use to go to (when I use to live downtown *tear*).  Also – reminds me how much I love beef patties!

 

Ok ENOUGH about Kai, lets move on to the oldest son Levi. Pictured below, Levi clearly takes his exercise regime VERY seriously.

levi

This is a good article that features a lot of the over the top images they post on Instagram (luxury vacations, fast cars, models, etc).

If it was a contest btwn which videos are more annoying/compelling, I’m going to give the award to Levi. I’ve watched way more videos of his than Kai’s but I hate myself more when I do.

Note – he shares his channel with his girlfriend who is a “DJ” named Mercedes but I think her DJ name is “Unimerce”.

Pic below, she looks like she’s a very talented and skilled DJ.  She also doesn’t believe in pants.

unimerce

This is a video I enjoy because it features Susur Lee paying for their family dinner at one of my favourite restaurants… FISHMAN LOBSTER HOUSE! God, I would LOVE to go back to that restaurant again.

Here’s Levi’s Day In The Life video which if you don’t watch any of it, just watch the first few mins because it features his dogs which he loves.  Sidebar: am I the only one who thinks that if a person doesn’t like dogs, that there’s definitely something suspicious about them?

A lot of his videos are mostly about his luxury trips he takes around the world (first class obv) which I haven’t really watched, but the more interesting ones I’ve seen feat him spending time with his dad and also a Q&A with him and his gf which is actually pretty funny because they cover and answer a broad range of questions that have been on people’s mind (including how much plastic surgery she’s had and why their brother Jet seems mute).

 

 

It’s really hard to explain why I keep watching their channel, and the only way to describe it is like the equivalent of eating an entire box of Mac N Cheese. You know you shouldn’t, you know the bright orange colour is gross, you know it’s made of fake cheese and it’s hella bad for you… but you still can’t help yourself and end up eating the ENTIRE BOX. Afterwards – you’re groaning in pain from a stomach ache and you hate yourself for what you’ve done.  Fast forward to next month when YOU DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.

Anyways, if anyone is interested in mindless entertainment I would invite you to just watch ONE of their videos and tell me you don’t find it weirdly compelling but annoying all at the same time.

 

SHAMBLES TOWN

Oh hello!

Some of you have asked why I haven’t updated my blog in weeks.

Well – it’s because my life has been in EXTRA shambles lately.

1) Driving – NOT going well. I had my driving lessons and the instructor told me he doesn’t think I need any more because I seem to drive just fine and dandy! Then 2 weekends ago I drove Dan and I to Metro and it was underground condo parking and I pulled into a tight spot too quickly and hit the pillar a bit. OUCH! I was really rattled by it because I scratched the car and I felt awful.

I forced myself to keep at it and continued to try to drive on my own to Costco a few days later because we had to restock on a bunch of essential items. WELL again the driving gods cursed me because I got into an accident. BUT THIS TIME IT WASN’T MY FAULT.

I was pulling out of the parking spot SLOWLY (because of the pillar incident that happened the previous week) and I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a guy behind me was pulling out at the same time so I thought oh shit, we will collide – I better stop and he’ll see me and should stop too. WELL I stopped – but he didn’t and hit me!

AGAIN I REPEAT IT WASN’T MY FAULT. He hit ME! I was fully stopped.

Anyways that doesn’t change the fact that I still have to face the consequences as if I was the one that caused the accident by dealing with insurance, etc.

I was REALLY REALLY RATTLED because Kensi and my mom were in the car. But I pulled up my big girl pants and confronted the man and the issue at hand. The guy came out of the car and of COURSE he was good looking (these people think they can get away with murder, well not on my watch buddy, not on my watch!). We exchanged information, took pics of each other’s insurance policies, I took a pic of his license plate, and then we said we will contact each other to figure out the details later.

Later that night Dan and I call the guy and I reviewed the facts with him which were YOU HIT ME but he was all like whoa whoa whoa, I actually don’t know if that is true because it happened so fast and we were both pulling out at the same time. He said he didn’t see me (duh obviously) so he has no idea if I really did completely stop. I was like homie I know I did so don’t be spreading lies. He said he felt awful about the whole thing because he knew I had a baby in the car but he also said it’s a tough situation because we were both pulling out at the same time so it’s just bad timing. This is code for – he won’t admit he hit me.

At first Dan and I said we were willing to settle this privately and not through insurance, but then things got weird because he explained he’s leasing the car but it’s not REALLY his lease – it’s a sublease. It’s really his coworker’s lease who currently is living out of the country and he’s just sub-leasing it from him, that’s why when I took a pic of the insurance policy it wasn’t his name but someone else’s name on it (his coworker).

He said he contacted his coworker right away but still hasn’t heard back, and he presumes his coworker would want to just settle this privately instead of going through insurance but he has to wait to hear back from him to see what he wants to do.

While we’re talking to him on the phone Dan is texting his sister who works in insurance. She said his “sub lease’ situation seems sketchy so suggests we just do it legitimately and go through insurance.

So after his whole explanation about trying to reach his coworker and needing a few days since it’s a long weekend to get a hold of him, Dan just cuts him off and says his situation seems kind of complicated and we don’t want to assume any risk so we just want to have this dealt with swiftly and efficiently hence we’re going to go through insurance.

That’s when he was all wait what? I thought you guys were open to working this out privately?  But then Dan was like yeah but you have complications on your end that seem like they need to be sorted out so we don’t really want to wait for that. He seemed like a nice guy but who really knows these days.

He insisted he was telling the truth and that this coworker is someone he knows personally because he use to be his sister’s ex husband but that he still remained good friends with him. Dan assured him that even if that were true, it still didn’t change how complicated it was for us to wait for him to figure out how to proceed forward and it was just easier and faster to do it legitimately through insurance.

After we hung up I tried to defend him because he did sound sincere and genuine. And who makes up such a strange story like how the person he’s taking over a car lease from is his sister’s ex husband? That’s such a specific tale that it HAS to be true.

Dan was like – oh I’m sure you’re right and that it is true. But guess what? That’s what makes it STRANGER and suspect, because who still stays friends with their sister’s ex husband? That’s an indication of his moral character!

*MIND BLOWN*

True true. Once again Dan is correct – I don’t trust anyone who stays friends with their sibling’s ex husband. FAMILY IS BLOOD, and you don’t turn your back on your own blood!

Anyways – after these two incidences I’m really shaken up by my driving abilities so I am at a loss as to what to do. I also drove downtown yesterday with Dan to our doctor’s appointment and it was hard AF because downtown is CRAZY. It’s all tight confined spaces, bicyclists and drivers being impatient and subsequently wreckless.

I’m trying not to give up so I rebooked with  my driving instructor again and making Dan talk to him beforehand to point out specifically what he needs me to review and practice.

But at this point I’m thinking oh shit am I going to be a grown as adult who doesn’t know how to drive?

2) I also dropped my iphone (which is pretty much new b/c it’s the iphone 7) and the screen cracked a bit. This is why I’m not allowed to have nice things.

Thank GOD I got extended Apple Care which covers for screen damage, and all I need to pay is a nominal service fee to have it fixed.

The combination of all of the above is why I’ve been silent on the blog because I’m convinced the universe is conspiring against me this month so I need to lay low and try not to anger the gods.

PRAY FOR MEEEE

 

A TALE OF FRIED CHICKEN (OR LACK OF)

toronto-restaurants-union-chicken-sherway-gardens-yannick-bigourdan-fried-chicken

Last week something happened that left me crying for almost 2 hours.

What would that have been? Crying screaming baby? Sleep deprivation? Being peed, pooped and/or vom’d on? The inability to shower whenever I wanted? Nope. None of these reasonable and understandable facets of motherhood.

Instead I was crying for 2 hours because of a fried chicken sandwich. 

 

Let me go back and explain the entire situation.

Last week was a fairly mundane week. Kensi, my mom and I have fallen into a quasi routine during the week and so that particular day was no different. That early evening, my mom was making dinner, I was playing with K, and Dan was just coming home from work.

We all sat down for dinner chatting about the day and I was monitoring the clock closely because K always tries to sleep around dinner time and I’m always trying to prevent her from snoozing because I want to put her down for 7pm (don’t even get me started on this 7pm bus that apparently all babies are supposed to be catching).

Anyways, the previous couple of days K had been graciously falling asleep at 7pm and not waking up until hours later so that night I asked Dan whether we should take advantage of this and jet out to Sherway Mall after we put her down so I could return a pacifier I had bought a few weeks earlier. I got it at the Well.ca store and it’s this ‘natural rubber’ pacifier that I wanted to try on her but unfortunately I’m not as sharp as I use to be and I didn’t realize I had purchased the wrong age category. The soother was for 0-3m and K was just a week or two shy of turning 3m, so it would have been useless for me to even open it up to try.

The mall was closing soon so Dan asked me to figure out the closest entrance to park at so we could jet in and out of the store. Well what do you know but the entrance was RIGHT next to the newly opened restaurant Union Chicken.  If you haven’t been there yet you must – it’s SOOO good. Dan + I had gone a few weeks earlier so being close to the restaurant again reminded me, DAMN I REALLY WANT TO HAVE THEIR FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICH.

*Lightbulb moment*

ME: “Hey Dan, while I run into the mall to return the pacifier, can you run into Union Chicken and get me a fried chicken sandwich? PLEAAAASE”

DAN: “We just ate dinner!”

ME: “PLEAAAASE. PLEAAAASE. I REALLY WANT A FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICH. PLEAAAASE. I’ll be your best friend. PLEAAASE”

DAN: “I already am your best friend. And are you SURE you want a fried chicken sandwich because we literally JUST ATE DINNER!!”

ME: “Yes!”

DAN: “OK FINE” *heavy sigh*

So off I went skipping into the mall literally reverberating with excitement at the idea of having their fried chicken sandwich. I was in and out of the store fairly quickly and made my way back to Dan in the restaurant where he was waiting for my fried chicken sandwich take out order.

We hopped back into the car and I couldn’t stop talking about how excited I was. I even thought about how I was going to eat the sandwich when I got home because I didn’t want my mom to be offended that I was essentially eating another meal right after eating the meal she made for us. I even debated secretly eating the sandwich in my closet so she wouldn’t be upset!

We got home and I thanked GOD my mom pretty much goes to bed soon after K goes down, so we were all alone in the dining room and I’m excitedly ripping open the bag to get at the container that the fried chicken sandwich was in.

I opened up the container and I was stunned. OH NO THEY DIDNT. THEY GAVE ME THE WRONG ORDER. NOOOOOOOO

Instead of a fried chicken sandwich, I was met with a heaping pile of wet, sopping pieces of chicken covered with gravy and peas. WHAT IS THIS MESS.

That’s when I was worried steam might blow out of my ears. How DARE they mess up my order!

That’s when Dan interjected, “uh oh… I thought that was the fried chicken sandwich”

ME: “HUH? What do you mean? You did this? You mean they didn’t give us the wrong order?”

DAN: “ummm I ordered the Truck Stop Chicken Sandwich… because I thought it was fried.”

ME: “I’m sorry what? I don’t quite understand. You ordered THIS sandwich and not a FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICH?”

DAN: “I thought that sandwich WAS a fried chicken sandwich”

I proceeded to then pull up the Union Chicken menu because I didn’t understand what was going on. I was honestly baffled. Was I not clear when I said “fried chicken sandwich”? Could I have somehow given confusing and unclear instructions?

I looked at the menu and I see the Truck Stop Chicken Sandwich item he ordered. Then right below it as clear as day I see, “Fried Chicken Sandwich.”

That’s when steam actually came out of my ears. And then I started to sob. I cried and cried and cried and I didn’t stop crying until hours later.

Dan apologized profusely and said he just wasn’t thinking when he ordered and made an honest HUMAN MISTAKE (his words, “I’m HUMAN, I made a mistake!)

But his apologies fell on deaf’s ears because it didn’t stop the big fat tears falling uncontrollably down my face.

Yes that’s right folks, I was crying over a fried chicken sandwich. Or more specifically, I was crying at the LACK of a fried chicken sandwich.

I know this sounds preposterous and many people will likely judge me for how insane I am for crying over something so trivial, but let me break it down for you. It’s not JUST about the fried chicken sandwich. 

I cried because I’m home all day long with the baby and that fried chicken sandwich was the most excited that I had felt that day, and to not have it felt like a crushing blow to my soul. When you’re on mat leave it can be very isolating – physically and emotionally, so when you have something that you get excited by (seemingly big or small) you get REALLY excited by it. And then when it gets taken away from you quickly and abruptly – you get REALLY devastated by it.

I cried because it felt like I was being as crystal clear as possible but it seemed like nobody was listening to me.

I also cried because again like I said – it’s not JUST about the fried chicken sandwich.  Years ago when we took a trip to Florida with friends, I REALLY wanted fried chicken when I saw it at the grocery store. Dan dismissed my suggestion because we already had bought a lot of other food and he said it would be TOO much. But I REALLY wanted the fried chicken… so I said to hell with it, and I put it in the cart!

The next day, EVERYONE devoured the fried chicken.  And then I felt vindicated, I said “HA! See! People WANT fried chicken! And you tried to stop me!”  I wish I had gotten MORE fried chicken because it didn’t seem like there was enough.

Ever since then, fried chicken has become a symbol for when Dan tries to be responsible and rational, usually talking me out of some irresponsible craving or zany idea that I have (like that time I wanted a horse lamp that cost $3k from ELTE but Dan rightfully said no way jose. FYI I still wish we had gotten it because hello, it was on sale from $7k!). Most of the time Dan’s level headed, rational and logical mind is right – in fact I would openly admit that about 9/10 times he is right and I’m wrong.

But sometimes, very rarely but it does happen – I’M RIGHT. And I feel vindicated that my nutty idea or suggestion is valid. Sometimes it’s ok to throw caution to the wind and just indulge in your craving, no matter how irresponsible, gluttonous and indulgent it is. Because it feels good but mostly because it TASTES SO DAMN GOOD.

So yes, I was mostly crying uncontrollably in that moment because I was so disappointed at not getting something that I thought was already in my hands.

But I think some part of me was also crying because it felt like that zany, indulgent, gluttonous part of me that use to just do whatever she wanted without needing to think about someone else was being extinguished.

And that’s what I’ve come to realize is the challenge and dilemma of being a new mom for the first time. You have to balance being the person you use to be (selfish, indulgent, gluttonous, irresponsible, etc) with the new person you become, which is someone who is responsible for another human being 24/7.  This can be amazing and fulfilling in many ways because you’re essentially growing and shaping someone who can turn out to be super awesome and it’s all because of you. But it can also be exhausting, tiring, thankless and downright draining because it’s a LOT OF WORK, DUH!

By the next day – I apologized to Dan for being a maniac the night before and he of course apologized again for his genuine mistake that he made. He even offered to drive back that evening to Union Chicken to get me the sandwich.

But alas I said no – it’s too soon and still stings. In that moment, I didn’t feel like I could even look at a fried chicken sandwich the same way again without being reminded of the time I cried nonstop for 2 hours like a crazy person.

But ya know what? The universe wanted to nudge me along and tell me to GET OVER IT.  I swear to god when in doubt, ask the universe for answers and most of the time the universe will surely answer. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that THIS article came out yesterday – Toronto Life publishes “The 15 best fried chicken sandwiches in Toronto right now

The universe wants me to get over it, stop crying, and realize that my new life is very different now but I can still enjoy the things that I use to enjoy, and I don’t have to lose everything about my old self and life in the process.

Oh yeah, the universe also is clearly trying to tell me to go GET A FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICH ALREADY.