Mat Leave: If Martha Stewart can survive prison, then I can do this.

Lately I've been thinking about how my new life is similar to either being on Survivor or being in prison. Only in both instances, I debate their lives are still marginally better because neither are sleep deprived... but maybe they are and I have no idea. I also think about how Martha Stewart and Teresa Giudice both survived prison, so if they can do it then I have to find the internal mental and physical strength myself to endure how things go day by day so that maybe one day weeks or months from now, I'll start seeing the pay off. The pay off being - sleep, a better routine, a smile that isn't gas related, warmer weather to go outside, a baby laugh, etc.

So on today's episode of Survivor otherwise known as my life, my ONE thing that's keeping me together is that I took a shower and was able to brush my teeth uninterrupted. I know this may not seem like much to most but if you are a mom you likely KNOW how much this is worth. Like in prison, it's probably worth about 10 packs of cigarettes. THAT's how valuable having an uninterrupted shower is in motherhood.

This new life of mine also sees me living in sweatpants permanently. This is almost refreshing to me, because I can be unapologetically a total hot mess - and nobody can comment on it because they're like 'oh she's got a newborn, I'm impressed she even has pants on.' Sweats, hoodies, shirts with vom on it, the whole kitten caboodle - it's like CAMPING almost because I'm just always in grungy clothes + dirty. Just like on Survivor!

Since having Kensington, she's effectively cured my clothes shopping addiction. I now have a closet full of really nice clothes I likely won't be able to wear until a year from now when maybe I'll be allowed out for good behaviour, and I also haven't had any inclination to shop for anything new (no matter how many emails Aritzia or Club Monaco sends to me). That being said, it's been 3 weeks now that I haven't bought anything for myself (which in my old world is very rare because I was always living the motto of 'treat yo'self!' on the daily) so today I decided to channel some of that previous energy into something meaningful for Kensi:

I've been following this company ever since I got pregnant called Cuddle and Kind. They make hand knit dolls (employing 100+ artisans in Peru) and each doll you buy feeds 10 meals to kids in need around the world. So I bought this package they're offering right now where if you buy 2 dolls, you also get 2 free prints and free shipping = 30 meals.

Below are the 2 dolls I chose for Kensington. The boy fox is named Wyatt and the girl fox is named Sadie and they each measure 20". I don't know if I'll keep their names or change them, because to me the girl looks more like a Margaret and the boy fox could be a Wyatt but I think he could also be a Montgomery. What do you guys think?

I also plan to use Margaret + Montgomery as a way to measure how tall Kensington grows, because right now I'm pretty sure the dolls are bigger than her - so if we get to the day that she outsizes these dolls, then I'll know I'll have done something right.

Oh shit the Warden is up, SUBMITTING THIS NOW so apologies for any typos.