6 weeks later

Many people have privately reached out to me to check in on me and I wanted to let everyone know I feel the overwhelming love, support and compassion. Yesterday I made the decision that enough time has passed that I can assess - things are NOT ok with me. It's becoming increasingly difficult for me to get through the days despite having more support than anyone I know with my mom here with me full time.

Yesterday was my last appt with the midwives and I had them refer me to get additional post partum depression support. I also reached out to EAP to see what resources they can provide (waiting for someone to reach out to me) and I also left a message with my family doctor to have her call me back and hopefully refer me to someone.

I wanted to make this update because:

a) It makes me cry how much love and support I feel around me. People are reaching out near and far to check in on me and I want everyone to know how much it means to me. 

b) Knowing when you need professional help is important. When I have physical ailments I go see my family doctor, I get a massage and I do acupuncture. My mental health should be treated the same and even more vigilantly. I realize that maybe I should have tried to call someone two weeks ago but I guess I had to make that decision on my own, which I finally succumbed to yesterday.

I know it's strange to make a post so publicly about this but I've been pretty frank and honest so far on everything that's been going on that it would seem really inauthentic to me to not be open about this. I also think life can be overwhelming and we need a more public and open discourse on encouraging people to ask for professional help when they feel they need it. I'm really hopeful that things will change and I'm committed to taking things day by day. 

I will try to keep everyone posted on what happens next but my commitment is of course to myself and trying to get better, so that I can start feeling like myself again :)  Xo