ROYAL DUMPSTER FIRE
OK I’ve been lying low and dormant from writing for so long because hello, the crushing weight of living, working remotely and surviving a global pandemic is I dunno, keeping me very busy.
But I cannot stay silent after watching the Meghan & Harry interview on Oprah from this past weekend (Sun, Mar 7th, 2021). It’s been days since that interview aired and I’m still reeling from all the EXPLOSIVE REVELATIONS.
The thing about the interview though is that it felt both surprising and shocking and NOT all at the same time. It’s like I always suspected and inferred at some level how grossly archaic the monarch institution is and by extension the members of the royal family, but we’ve never seen someone from the inside actively speak out against them...UNTIL NOW.
Here are my high level takeaways:
WOW THE MONARCHY IS MESSED UP.
Meghan Markle fell in love with a guy who comes from a very messed up family. There. I SAID IT.
A messed up family that’s built a very fucked up business called the MONARCH INSTITUTION. And this business is largely predicated on racism, misogyny, sexism, elitism and preserving the status quo.
The interview had many disturbing revelations but here are some that come top of mind:
1) She wasn’t allowed to go outside. She only left the house twice in four months, but when she asked to go see some friends privately the senior royal advisors told her “no, you’re overexposed across the press.” The fact that she even has to ask someone whether she’s allowed to go outside (hello #freebritney movement!) and the fact that they said NO is wrong.
2) She said she was suicidal but they refused to acknowledge her mental health pain or offer her help. This one really guts me because I could 100% sympathize with this depth of darkness. I had really deep postpartum depression and anxiety and it was the first time in my life where I felt like I was going insane, and that I was trapped inside my own brain and that I truly did not want to wake up. That is a very very deep level of pain that potentially many people do not access (and consider yourself lucky if you don’t) but it’s very REAL and it demands attention and support.
It’s like - if I came to you and my arm was barely hanging on, wouldn’t you be freaking out and rushing me to the emergency room? How is someone’s mental health barely hanging on by a thread not as serious? MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS FOLKS, which is why refusing to acknowledge the importance of this is so destructIve.
3) Character assassination: Kate Middleton threw a fit days before the wedding about flower girl dresses and made Meghan cry. She realized what a wench she was being and apologized, wrote Meghan an apology note and sent her flowers. Cool cool cool. Months later when the press circulated that Meghan is the one who did Kate wrong, nobody said anything but let the stories run and told her “just ignore it”...
4) When you don’t stand up to racism… maybe it’s because YOU’RE racist! 72 female members from parliament went on written record to unify and state that the British press were being disparagingly RACIST towards Meghan in their stories and called for an end. Royal family? *silence*
Here’s a great pic of Prince William rushing to his family’s defense, they are not racists. I REPEAT THEY ARE NOT RACISTS!
5) Ummm Prince Charles being a total douche... Ya just KNOW he was the one relentlessly asking Harry about how “dark the baby’s skin is going to be.” He also stopped taking Harry’s calls when Harry tried to break from status quo and said he didn’t want to live a life imprisoned in the institution.
6) History repeating itself and being very cool about it. Princess Diana DIED being chased by the British press. They literally preyed and hunted her 24/7 to commercialize off her to sell some papers. This in light of Meghan’s admission of begging them for mental health support because she was having suicidal thoughts and being DENIED makes it that much more diabolical. The royal family is not afraid of dead bodies or blood on their hands yo!
These were just SOME of the things that I found atrocious about what was revealed about the royal family and institution.
IT’S A BUSINESS BABY
Here is where I think it’s important to distinguish what is the difference between the royal family and the royal institution. This is actually key to understanding why this family (and institution) is so fucked up it seems.
There’s a part in the interview where Meghan tries to highlight the difference. Below is my take on the difference:
There’s the royal family - which is really just 4 people now (6 before if you included Harry and Meghan). There’s Queen Elizabeth and her husband, her son Prince Charles (next to be King) and Prince William + Kate. That’s pretty much who we conjure up when the royal family is referenced, which is technically the “senior royal family.” Everyone else is just garbage (ie. Prince Andrew)
There’s the royal institution - this is the BUSINESS of the monarchy and preserving the status quo. The royal family and the construct of the monarchy as a whole is supported and PROTECTED by an entire paid team of advisors, enablers, etc that make up the royal institution. This royal institution is a BUSINESS that owns a lot of money, property, etc and is partly funded by… the British press!
The press partly funds the institution, which means that the institution is kinda its bitch. The press funds their sweet cushy life in their castle and pays for their security etc, so if the press wants to be totally sexist, misogynist and racist because hello that’s the status quo, then of COURSE the royal institution (and its participating family members) benefit from that.
Every decision or move individual people of the family want to make… they likely can’t. They are essentially imprisoned by the larger institution & business that they are part of! They seem to have to go through a team of advisors, consultants, etc that scrutinize whether this decision will impact the “image” of the monarchy and will effectively defer to what they’re being heavily “advised” to do.
Harry illustrates this in an unaired clip that was revealed the next day. He explains how he had confirmed plans to see his grandmother, the Queen for lunch when he was returning to settle matters about leaving as a senior working royal family member. This is essentially how the scenario goes:
He flies across the pond and calls his grandmother up, and she was all “Umm I’m busy, I have to wash my hair,” and Harry was like, “OH.. ok what about tomorrow, or the next day? Or the day after that?” and the Queen was all, “Oh gee… eeeks this is awkward, I’m going to be washing my hair every night.” AWKWARD SILENCE. He infers that essentially the advisors told his grandmother it’s not a good idea to have lunch with him. Case closed!
The conclusion I draw from his story is that just because the Queen is the figurehead of the family and the institution, it hardly means she makes her own decisions or does whatever she wants. It’s a business baby, and the business doesn’t care about individuals! (that’s just business 101 am I right?!)
WHAT ABOUT HARRY?
Everyone loves to blame Meghan. They even coined a term for her in the UK - MEGXIT, she being solely responsible and is the reason why Harry left the family and royal institution. She is single handedly trying to ruin the entire royal institution!
She lured him away so they can live a life in California and court the Hollywood elite! All she cares about is making money. How DARE she care about… trying to be FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT!
She ruined the relationship between Harry and William who are no longer speaking anymore!
She’s also severely fractured the relationship between Harry and his father! I mean if she wasn’t a commoner and a person of colour no less, then Prince Charles wouldn’t need to make disparaging and racist remarks. DUH
Do y’all see where I’m going with this? These are the stories that are being circulated that are all vilifying Meghan.
I’ll just say this - if she has the power to do all of this then maybe this woman should be running for president because that seems to be a lot of power, persuasion, authority and influence that she has to cause so much destruction! I’m almost in awe actually.
Instead, here are the stories and the narratives that I would love to see:
Harry takes charge of his life (finally) and leaves his suffocating family to build a better life for his wife and kids.
Harry finally addresses decades of childhood + family trauma and undergoes major psychotherapy.
Harry AND Meghan stand up to the status quo that is their family lineage and demands ANTI RACISM action to be taken.
Meghan has a husband that supports her in her career aspirations.
Meghan and Harry vow to be equal partners in their marriage and their family.
Meghan saves Harry from a lifetime of trauma and both seek to build a life that makes an impact on the greater community.
We never hear of any of these latter narratives. Let’s just sit and think about that and reflect on the stories we hear, the stories we tell ourselves, and the stories we share with one another. Spoiler alert: it’s dripping in sexism.
