Friday Feature: An interview with Frankly

In honour of my original idea when I wanted to do a blog a YEAR ago to go around interviewing dogs, I've decided to honour that original premise by introducing on this glorious Friday - an interview with my dog Frankly!

Me: Frankly! You are now 6 months old and you came into our lives when you were 2 months old. These past 4 months have been pretty crazy – not going to lie, I love you so much sometimes I worry I’m going to squeeze you to death. BUT also at times, you drive me nuts. Thoughts?

Frankly: SAMESIES. I love you SO much too but sometimes you also drive me up the wall.Examples include: your incessant need to clean goop out of my eye, too many baths because you think I smell and also, I personally don’t believe you give me enough treats per day. But that doesn’t compare to the sheer amount of love I have for you though. So we’re cool.

Me: What’s it like living in downtown Toronto? You’re at Yonge & Dundas which is considered like the Time Square of Toronto – is that crazy for you living in the concrete jungle?

Frankly: It can definitely be RUFF for sure, but I love that there’s always people around when I’m walking who fawn over me. There’s also lots of pigeons around too which I’m very intrigued by. The downside is the noise and most frighteningly for me – the huge garbage trucks that drive by. I GET FROZEN IN TERROR. It’s also annoying because I have to wear shoes anytime I go outside because downtown is filthy… but then again, there’s LOTS of smells which I find overwhelmingly glorious.

Me: What's it like growing up in a bi-racial household?

Frankly: Well - I'm half Asian, half White...according to you Mom. If being a halfsie means that people stop in their tracks when they see me and instantly have a smile on their face, then who wouldn't want to be half and half?! I just wish it meant getting more treats though...

Me: What are your thoughts on the Canadian healthcare system and why it doesn't extend to pets?

Frankly: It's not right, that's for sure. If people can have coverage for their kids, then why wouldn't you have coverage for pets? I'm a kid too! I just turned 6 months old!

Me: I consider you pretty much house trained. Up until this week, you were accident free for TWO months. That’s HUGE. Then all in one day your 2 month streak goes down the drain. You first had an accident in our condo, and then later that evening in obedience class, you decided to defecate in front of your ENTIRE CLASS with no warning. I was really troubled when your father relayed this news to me. You really did a doozy on us that day. Can you tell me what was up??

Frankly: I don’t know what to tell you, I really don’t. That day was a weird one for me. RE: The accident I had in the morning. That one wasn’t my fault – Dad was in the WASHROOM and wasn’t available for me to tell him I had to go. And at that moment I HAD TO GO, so I did it. And I don’t regret it either – because when you have to go, you have to go. Later that evening is a whole other story. I DO regret doing it in front of all my classmates… tres embarrassing. But again same reason – I HAD TO GO. I wish they didn’t have to see me like this… but they also felt ok to still smell my butt at the end of the class, so I’m pretty sure all is forgiven there. The real question is: Have YOU forgiven me?

Me: *Averts eye contact*

Me: What are your thoughts on Rob Ford? As well as Tom Ford?

Frankly: Rob – he looks like someone who would know how to eat. I dig that about him. However – he also loves the crack… that’s not something I can relate to. As for Tom Ford - I would like the man to make me a jacket, because the one below IS TOO SMALL FOR ME now.

Me: Who is your style icon?

Frankly: Jenna Lyons from J.Crew, look how divine I look with the necklace I stole from you:

Me: What’s your favourite Songza station?

Frankly: 'Mainstream Indie'... 'Today's Pop Divas'.... Oh and 'Rude Girls' station - a compilation of contemporary female artists who refuse to mold to society's ideals. Just like ME!

Me: Wait, what's your favourite Beyonce song???

Frankly: Right now? Drunk in Love OBVIOUSLY. Cigars on ice, right Mom???

Me: Yup, me too. Totally know what that means....

Me: Ok last question. I have my suspicions but I want you to tell me to my face!! Who do you favour? Your mom or your dad??

Frankly: *looks up inquisitively* Mom - if you have to ask, I think in your heart you know the answer...

Me:I know, but I want you to tell me to MY FACE!

Frankly: No. Some things don't need to be said out loud.

Me: *Le sigh*

Interview subsequently ends as Frankly leaves to go scratch her nether regions.